Birthday cards that don't make you feel bad.

It's about time!

As someone with a December birthday, I have always been surprised when people feel sorry for me. Something about my birthday and Christmas running together? Not a problem; my family and friends know they are separate holidays.

But as I looked this week for birthday cards for my fellow Sagittarians and Capricorns, I noticed something disturbing. The messages – and images – on birthday cards for older women are absolutely appalling.

You probably don’t have to work too hard to conjure up the Hallmark avatar of female aging, Maxine, with her goofy beanie and curly gray hair. Originally drawn and written by a man (what a surprise), Maxine is supposed to be crabby, loud -- and funny. But a quick look turns up gems like this: “60’s not old! It’s not attractive, either.”

Hilarious.

Or this one, not from Hallmark, in stark black and blue type: THIS CARD IS YOUR REWARD FOR NOT DYING THIS YEAR. HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

Yeesh.

Which is why I was delighted when a fellow December birthday buddy shared the 2023 anti-ageist birthday card designs launched by the fascinating Changing the Narrative project out of Denver. This small-but-mighty nonprofit is dedicated to imagining a world without ageism, in relationships, culture, work, health care and public policy.

Somewhere along the line, they got as disgusted with the “damn, you’re old” tone of many greeting cards as I am and decided to do something about it.

Starting in 2020, Changing the Narrative asked greeting card designers to submit their best age-affirming designs, and the project took off.

No wonder: The cards are delightful (if sometimes a bit earnest) and are designed by entrepreneurial women with stories that sound, well, familiar. Take illustrator Karen Ritz, who became a grandmother at 58 and realized her life didn’t line up with the stereotype. That’s her winning design, below.

“I just want to inspire people to have fun with their age. This is the first time I’ve been able to be really a full-time artist making an income, finally, just doing that. So it’s a great age. I’ve waited my whole life to be here,” she says.

Birthday cards may sound innocuous, but Sara Breindel, co-director of Changing the Narrative, says they’ve become a prominent example of harmful messaging that can have significant health consequences, according to CNN.

“The way we think about aging affects how we age,” she says, pointing to research showing that negative views on aging can affect physical and mental health and even decrease someone’s lifespan, while “age-positive views” can help people live longer.

That’s right: Staying optimistic about aging can actually add years to your life. Take that, Maxine.

My favorite of the 2023 designs comes from Lucy Loves Paper, which Lucia, the owner, “started after I left a corporate design career planning on using my illustration skills to encourage kindness, celebrate diversity and spread joy.” Now there’s a message, birthday or no, that I can get behind.

Her winning birthday card reads: “Great stories take time.”

Amen, sister.

Which card is your favorite? Click HERE to see them all.